Rosenfeld / How to Dump a Friend

Ernest Ventura

Professor Freedman

English 101

19 July 2004

Rosenfeld / How to Dump a Friend

Questions on Meaning:

1. Rosenfeld’s passage has 3 distinct stages. What are they?
2. Why does Rosenfeld believe that one shouldn’t break off with friends (except mere acquaintances) without an explanation? Why does she advise against breaking off a friendship through an email message? What does her advise suggest about how she feels about friendships?
3. Why does Rosenfeld believe that ending friendship can be “especially delicate when you and your dumpee have friends in common” (par. 11)?
4. Why do you think Rosenfeld concludes by suggesting that, rather than dump a friend, one must instead “find a way to love together” (par. 15)?

Answers to Questions on Meaning:

1. First, she explained how not to get acquainted to someone using the silent treatment. Next, she talked about being frank and straightforward to end a friendly relationship especially when something more serious has occurred. Lastly, she concluded by saying that “not dumping a friend is the easiest way to dump a friend”.

2. Rosenfeld’s essay does not give a strong hint to her very reason “why” she believe that an explanation is the littlest thing one can offer to end friendship. It just seems unethical to bid farewell without any explanation especially when time and emotion have been invested. In the case of acquaintances, Lucinda noted the silent treatment is perfectly appropriate to cut bait. People we meet aren’t really considered friends at all so were not going to lose any cent if we refuse the acquaintance. A huge no is what Rosenfeld say about an electronic farewell. Writing goodbye through an email message shows that one never really value the friendship. Another good reason the author indicated is privacy. A single click can forward your dramatic message to all of your dumpee’s contacts that is even damaging to you. Rosenfeld’s advises shows that she values the importance of friendship.

3. Again, the essay does not give an obvious hint on the author’s reason “why” she believes that ending friendship can be “especially delicate when you and your dumpee have friends in common”. In many cases, people consider their friends’ friends to be theirs too (at least the first degree). This makes it complicated not only to the dumper and dumpee’s, but also to their common denominator’s situation during partings. The problem here is that these common friends are innocent, yet will significantly be affected.

4. I think the author decided to conclude: rather than dump a friend, one must instead “find a way to love together” is because she feels it’s much more easier to deal with than face the consequences of the heart-breaking parting and the hard time of finding the right way to do it. In addition, all healthy relationships including friendships have its ups and downs, good times and bad times. A little understanding is way easier and wiser to do than dumping a friend.